


Alternate Universe

by therune



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-23
Updated: 2009-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 02:22:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therune/pseuds/therune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if - the Rogues War had a different outcome? <br/>What if the Flash died?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alternate Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

Alternate worlds. Different times. Parallel dimensions. The Multiverse.

Whatever you call it, none of the names is entirely wrong, and none truly captures the essence of what it is.

We have many crises. Too many to count, everyone of those one too many. And there was this big crisis, this crisis of the infinite worlds.

No one can say how many people died that day. Worlds merged, two became one. Destinies were fused...or destroyed. There is no one who can really say what happened, no one who really remembers. But we all agree that this was a big tragedy. Biggest tragedy ever.

Alternate Worlds can be scary and terrifying. We know that there is a world somewhere/sometime in which we are villains; we kill, we steal and we love it. That´s a cruel thought.

On the other hand, we gained a lot of friends from other worlds. Take us speedsters for example. What would we do without Jay Garrick? The first Flash from another world. Or maybe, we are the ones from the other world.

I dread the day when I can´t decide what is real and what´s not anymore. It is a burden and a curse for us speedsters: we are all part of the Speedforce, we are closer to the edge, to the other worlds.

My name is Wally West and I am the fastest man alive.

  


We´re still not sure how it happened. Another fight with another villain. Calls herself "The Portal". She appeared on Halloween and spent her time sending people to dimensions where their fears become alive. Of course we took her down. But not after a stray blast hit me. I know, fastest man alive...but can you outrun magic? Then everything goes black.

I blink as I regain consciousness. Where am I? Typical question,I know. But I mean it. This here looks like Central City...but it is different. I can´t tell why, but this city has changed. Better to remain incognito at first. This is probably one of those fear-dimensions, but I´m not too sure about it. Portal seemed desperate when she took that last shot. She probably just zapped to hit something. I change out of costume, just in case.

When I try to activate the JLA communicator, nothing works. Either it got fried during the trip, or ...god, please not.

I walk the streets. The people seem normal, but...I´m not sure how to say this. The city looks less colorful, it seems gray. I wonder how Linda feels. If she even exists here. As I pass a newsstand I notice the newspaper´s headline. "Bank robbery successfully stopped. Rogues once again save the day." I read the entire article at least 20 time before I put the newspaper down again. The picture shows Heatwave and Weather Wizard capturing some masked goons. The man in the business suit looks an awful lot like James Jesse, the Trickster. He´s the official represent of the group. Still trying to progress all this information I walk on. And where have my feet led me?

  
I´m standing in front of the Flash Museum. Uncle Barry...his statue is still here. Looks brand new, polished and everything. Someone has lain flowers at the base. Then I walk up to the door. And stop. There are more statues. Two persons. Linda! No! That can´t be! My Linda! Then I take a closer look at the other statue. This is me.

Oh my god. What has happened here? There´s a plaque. "Dedicated to Linda and Wally West. Central City will never forget them" And more flowers. Everything hits me like a punch in the face. Suddenly I feel sick. What is this place?

Like I´m sleepwalking I go on. The left wing of the museum seems the same; Barry´s adventures. A statue of Kid Flash.

The most of the right wing is identical to the one in the original Flash museum. But the last chapter of this book is a different one.

"The Rogue War. And Zoom." I didn´t hear him walking up to me. Captain Cold. "That´s when everything went downhill. When you died, hell broke lose." I change into the costume. "Don´t bother kid. We are done fighting."

He seems cold. I know, I know, bad pun. But it fits. His voice lacks the emotion it possessed. He was the leader of the rogues, he was eloquent and famous for his great speeches. I can see him; a grin slashing under the hood, ice gun pointing at me... it all seemed like a game. Of course it never was a stupid game for me; but now it seems so. Those were the easy times. Rogue commits a crime. I stop him and he goes to jail. He breaks out a month later. Rogue commits a crime, and then it goes on and on.

 

But he seems so distant. He pulls the hood off. There are lines deeply engraved in his face, his mouth a grim line.

"What happened here, Len?"

"Don´t you remember? Two years ago, when the Rogue War broke loose. We had it settled all under ourselves, until Zoom showed up. We retreated, went to lick our wounds and to stay still until the whole thing had cooled off. Sources say that Zoom wanted to kill your wife. You went to stop him. Didn´t work. He killed Linda. You went mad and pushed him into the speedforce. But it claimed you, too. You were both assumed dead. Now you´re back kid. Care to tell me how?"

"But that´s not...I stopped Zoom! Linda is safe at home with our....that´s not what happened! There was this villain...Portal"

 

"I guess he is probably as confused as we are, Len."  
Trickster enters the stage. He´s not smiling. Bad sign. Of course it´s a bad sign for you when he does, but when he doesn´t at least grin...then it´s a very bad day. "I don´t think that this is our Flash coming back from death. I believe that you are someone else."

"I think I´m from an alternate world. In my time, I stopped Zoom. My wife is safe and sound, you guys are busy plotting revenge...this madness did not happen."

"Madness, you call it. That´s our life, Flashypants. We can´t change it, but we try to make the best from it."

Trickster raises his hand abruptly to his ear. "Yes, understood. I´ll take care of it." Ear plug. "Cold, your talents are requested. Rampage at the ice hockey stadium."

Len nods. "I´m not finished talking yet, kid. See you at the headquarter." He blasts his gun, creates an ice slide and skates out.

 

"He can handle it, no big deal." Trickster speaks up again. "I think you want to know a way to get back. I don´t say that I can help you, or that I know anyone who can...but we have good equipment and scientists at the Safehouse, so I suggest you follow me."

I do, because I have no other options. Out of the costume again. We ride in a black car. Neither of us speaks during the ride. Trickster stops at a tall building complex. Modern skyscrapers, arranged like a giant C. And in the middle: a typical house out of stone, reddish color and a huge graffiti on the front. Rogues!!

"Follow me." In the brick house he leads me to a break room. Chairs, coffee machine, sweets vendor, plants and the obligatory water bottle. He takes out a cellphone and talks. And talks. For me time always stretches. He probably just talks for a few minutes, but to me it seems endless. I don´t pay attention. Then he speaks some techno-babble which I don´t understand anyway. He turns to me again. "I´ve talked to our top scientists. They´re working on a way to bring you back now. Don´t get your hopes up, cause I don´t make any promises. But we´re trying."

He gets himself a cherry coke, "You want something? Take it. You look like you could use some sugar infusion." I decline.

"What is all this, James?"

"This are the Rogues. After your death...it was just different. I know, in the beginning it was just the reformed Rogues against the "real" Rogues. Then the Top came and messed with our minds. And he brought those lousy amateurs with him. And in the end, it was like in the beginning: Captain Cold, Boomer jr, Weather Wizard, Heatwave, Piper and myself- the old crew together again. We took down all those wannabes. Well, old Boomer is not with us anymore...it´s kinda creepy and yet sad. After a while you really miss his accent, his constant begging for a loan and his insults.  
After those newcomers were shipped off to Arkham and Blackgate - we don´t use Iron Heights anymore, it was shut down - we agreed that our little game couldn´t go on anymore. The speed kid and speed gramps are filling for your Justice League, but some people thought that Central City was now free for claiming. Not with us, I tell you. If you weren´t there anymore to protect your city...then we would. We built up this little organization. Someone breaks havoc in this city...he has to go through us. And many have tried...but they never succeeded. We took em all out. This city is under our protection...and now most crooks think twice before showing their ugly faces here."

"Where are Impulse and Flash?"

"If I recall correctly, a mission in outer space. Don´t worry, already contacted them. Message will take some time, though, they´re pretty far out. We expect a return call tomorrow."

That´s good news. They are alive. Out of my reach, but alive. And the JLA still exists, it´s just my communicator that´s not working after all.

"And where are the Rogues now? And what is this thing out there?"

"Well, this complex is called the Safehouse. We have science labs, a training center, a hospital, some cells for temporary visitors, a R&amp;D department, ..."

"Whoa. You really outdid yourselves."

"Guess so. As for the others, Rory is on vacation after the job yesterday. Mark...don´t know, probably head in the clouds somewhere. You´ve met Cold, Boomer jr is on a mission with the Titans - I think - and Piper is in his room...probably."

 

"Can I see him?"

Some good news after all. I always knew that the Rogues had a code of honor. You know, there are villains and villains. Just look at Batman and his crew. With what Dick always has to put up....compared to the Joker and his fellows from Arkham, my Rogues seem like decent, nice people.

I notice a change in Trickster´s body language. He hesitates. "I´m not sure if that is a good idea."

Worry. What if-

"Why? Is he alright? Has anything happened-"

"He´s fine...most of the time. I don´t know what happened to the Piper from your world-"

"You mean like Mirror Master messing with his mind? He has recovered from that."

"How"

"What-"

"You understood me. Exactly how did he recover?"

"I showed him my face and-" realization dawns. "He hasn´t snapped out from this, hasn´t he?"

"Not really. Generally he´s fine, but sometimes... I consulted some of your mind-people from the JLA. We know that he had Mirror Master forcing false memories in his mind. Then the Top programmed him. We´re not sure if there was a previous program hidden or a completely new one...we went to that martian, but he wasn´t a big help either. If you ask me, it just got worse. We hoped that he would get over it on his own, but then - disaster time. Some people had found out that he once had a nervous breakdown, back in the times with Flash...Barry I mean. His relatives tried to put him into a mental institution to get his heirloom, but I prevented that. Until I was injured in a attack from the Legion of Doom or whatever they call themselves. Lay in a coma for three days. Much money and influence were shoved in a certain direction, and Piper ended up in Arkham."

I winced.

"Exactly. Once I could hold a phone again, I got him out of there. But-"

Trickster stopped.

"How is Hartley?"

"You know, he has some reality issues. His memories aren´t working 100% correctly and sometimes he can´t tell you which ones are real and which are not. And on his worst days...he doesn´t know anymore if his life is real. He claims that this life is an illusion and that he wants to wake up. But that happens rarely. Mostly he´s fine. I just worry that if you walk in on him now-"

"I understand. Having dead people walking around can´t be good for his ---state."

Poor Piper. He´s my best friend...and now?

"I don´t want to keep you away from him, but-"

"I understand James."

I pat his shoulder. Feels pretty awkward.

A cell phone rings.

"Yes? What´s the matter? --- yes----uh-huh----9:30 am----no----no---yes-----has he?----ok-----no-----now----then get started for heaven´s sake!"

"Good news. Our head scientist says that they have picked up some strange energy today. Should be time and place of your arrival. They´ll investigate. They´re positive that we can figure something out."

I don´t want to get my hopes up...but I start to feel better. I want to go home. And now, maybe I can.

"Anyway, it would be best if you would come to the lab with me. Something about energy signature, traces and advanced stuff."

He opens the door. And we both look into the face of Piper. For an endless second he looks at my face: shock, disbelief, dread in his eyes...then he looks away and goes in the room as if he didn´t noticed me. He has let his hair grown again and wears a new, darker costume I´ve never seen before.

"Owen is back, Tricks. He wants to talk about a temporary transfer with you. And Cold reports back from the stadium; no major damages. And the R&amp;D guy--Ted--has something about explosive bubbles for you."

Piper makes himself a coffee. I´m shocked..don´t know what to say...and so is the Trickster. No one speaks for a minute. Piper´s eyes darts every so often to me, but he stares in a different direction as quickly again. He´s white as a wall and looks thin and exhausted.

"What are you looking at Tricks? The fish out of water look is not very becoming for you- spill it. What´s going on?"

"Piper...Hartley...I´m not sure how to say this...have you noticed anything unusual lately?"

Green eyes stare shocked at me. "No...why?"

"Um..."

"Piper! I´m here! Can´t you see me? It´s me, Wally!"

Glance.

"What´s going on here, James? If it´s one of your schemes again, I´m not falling for it this time."

I run to his side and grab his hands. "Don´t you recognize me?"

I´m stopped by the look of pure terror and fear I receive from him. We are both like frozen. Then he begins to shiver and tears well up in his eyes. He sobs.

"James...it has happened again." Trickster rushes to Piper´s side. "James, I see him again." Reluctantly I let go of Piper. "I could swear he just stood in this room."

Piper sinks down to the floor and Trickster kneels before him. I step back, unsure of what to do. "It seemed so real. I..I fear-"

Trickster pulls Piper in a loose hug. Hartley leans on him for support. "Could have sworn...Wally was right there...heard voices...still hear him....can hear breathing...Wally"

He sobs and clings tightly to Trickster.

I feel like I´m intruding something very personal there, something I´m not supposed to watch. Too private, not meant for me...

"Shhh...Piper? Am I real? Calm down, Hart, and focus: Am. I. Real?"

Tear-blurred eyes look up at Trickster´s face. "Wha-"

"Hartley. Can you see me?" He nods.

"Can you feel me?" Trickster clasps Piper´s hands in his own.

"Yes." whispers Piper.

"Can you hear me?" He nods.

"Is there something else you need to know? Anything else to convince you that this is real?"

Piper sighs. "You smell like a bakery exploded in your face."

"That was an accident, I swear! I didn´t mean to leave the-" He starts laughing helplessly. "Man, Hartley." He pulls Piper to his feet and then again in a hug. "Don´t you ever scare me like this again." He is smiling. For the first time since I entered this world he´s smiling.

"But, there´s something I wanted to show you, Piper." He pulls Piper by his hand over to me. He grabs my hand and places Piper´s own on mine. "He IS real, Piper. I see him, hear him, too. We suspect that he is from an alternate world. This is real." A heartbeat of silence. Piper looks at me; doubt and uncertainty in his face. Then his face lightens up and he pulls me in a rib-crashing hug.

"Wally! O my god..this is you! Really you!"  
I laugh and hug him back. Alternate world or not, he´s still my best friend.

"How did you get here?" he asks. So full of joy and life...

"Long story short: villain zapped me, ended up here. And you...you all are now the angels here?

You´ve done a great job here."

Trickster clears his throat. "If you are quite finished, some mad scientists await us. Could be your ticket home, Flasheroonie."

Piper nods. "Come on Wally! I´m sure Linda is waiting for you."

Can you see why he´s my best friend? He is beyond words.

  


We walk to the science lab where futuristic technology, lots of computers and many, many wires await us. A man in a white coat describes some more techno-babble to us. This time I try to keep track. I can´t say that I understood all of it, but the bottom line is that they can trace the energy signature that brought me here and when they are successful at creating the exact opposite vibration, they can get me home. The scientist worries about the energy this would need, but we can reassure them that this is the least of our problems. Fastest Man alive.

Until they discuss every detail it is night time. At some point the others have joined us. From Weather Wizard we didn´t get much more than confused blinking and staring, Boomerang´s son stays reserved in a corner, not sure of what he should do now. Heatwave has canceled his vacation and is now bickering with Cold. At least that never changes.

At midnight the scientist shoos us out of his lab. He says that he will be ready on 10pm. But not a second before that so we should not disturb him. And don´t ask unnecessary questions, don´t annoy him, don´t try to sneak in while he´s not looking...most of this lecture is directed at James. And another precious constant from all worlds.

We sit in the break room and talk for hours. Mostly stories from the good old times. That is such a sweet melancholy...each tale is dripping with fond nostalgia, and then we come to speak of Barry. Each Rogue raises his glass. "To Barry Allen; one true hero." He has touched all our hearts.

As the sun goes up we wrapped it up. They go for a nap, and I make myself ready to face the league. I want to hear about Bart and Jay, about everyone.

Sadly...the league is not what it used to be. In the aftermath of the Rogue War...others died. When I was gone, some missions failed.

The Titans are still an active team. Dick has married Babs, Roy was his best man. I would have loved to see that wedding.

But we lost Kyle and Donna; the Atom is gone, Superman is presumed dead, this list goes on...Bats has gone more crazy than he was anyway...I receive a warm welcome from Diana and J´onn, the only ones still in the watchtower. Bart and Jay drop in, and then we just run. Talk and run, reminiscing, talking, never stopping. Apparently my death has left a gap in the speedforce and it compensated by boosting their speed to almost my top level. Almost. Fastest Man alive. I tell Bart how proud I am of him. He has grown, had even taken on the Kid Flash costume. It makes my heart ache...

Jay and Joan are fine. They are glad that the Rogues are now protecting Central City. "Would have made even your uncle proud." says Jay. Life has gone on with them.

Then...after the time is so short, I have to leave. It hurts so much. Leaving hurts, but staying is worse. I have to go. They understand. I don´t know if I ever told them how much I love them.

Then it is time. A giant ring is set up in the backyard of the Safehouse. It looks like that thing from Stargate. It´s powered by a treadmill. Such a torturing sight...reminds me of Uncle Barry. This is goodbye, I guess.

They line up. Awkward handshakes from my rogues, a hug from Piper "Give Linda my regards", and then goodbye to Bart and Jay. "Be careful." I tell them, "I know you´ll grow up to be a good man, Bart. Do your best. You´re a hero after my heart. I´ll always be proud of you, remember that." I tell myself that there are no tears in my eyes. Our eyes.

Then there is silence.

 

The scientist says that I have to power the machine up until I see a green light; then I have to vibrate until the portal is activated with a lightning. Weather Wizard floats up into the sky and suddenly there are huge, dark clouds and it begins to rain. Faint thunder roars. Solemn.

I begin to run, then accelerate and accelerate. I tap into the speedforce, I become faster and faster. I can feel the gentle tug of the force, it´s pulling me home. There! Green light. I vibrate at every frequency I can think of. Instinctively, I can feel that this is going into the right direction. There, I see white out of my peripheral vision. I almost have it. Lightning cracks down and I shout "Farewell.".

Then I speed off, go home, where Linda awaits me. I love her so much, I´ll always come back to her.


	2. Chapter 2

And suddenly James was back at the battlefield, back to when the tragedy occurred.

There was lightning crackling in the air. Probably speedforce backlashes.

It was surreal. Dark clouds and an even darker sky. There was a tear in the sky. And lightning.

Heroes and villains in ridiculously bright costumes.

The speedsters Garrick and the kid, silently weeping. both trying to be proud and strong for the other. Heatwave sweating; Cold shivering. Odd. Girder was out, as were Frankie, Murmur, Plunder... Mark was up in the sky, surrounded by the blackest clouds. The weather went crazy; snow, local tornados, sudden bursts of heat...Mark was disturbed. The cracked ice with Roscoe´s remains on the grass.

Piper kneeling on the ground, covering his face with his hands. Trickster just stood there beside him. No one said anything. Thunder roars, and it rains. Pours from the skies. Heaven´s tears. Mark´s tears. Everyone has tears in the eyes.

"This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not real" The same words over and over again. "Not real." His hands fell from his face. "Wally..." he started shivering "Wally...no. No! NO! This can´t be real! No!" Tears in his green eyes. "Wally...oh my god. Flash...Wally...no. No. No" Something was happening in Trickster´s mind. Piper´s friend Wally has been the Flash. Is. Had ever been. Always was the Flash. Everyone knew who the Flash was. Trickster knelt beside Piper on the ground. He didn´t know what to say, but he knew that he needed to say something.

No silence. Silence was bad. Bad for Piper. "Piper?...Hartley." He put his arm around his shoulders. "It´s gonna be OK. Will get better. We will get better."

"Not real"

"Gonna be OK"

"Not real"


	3. Chapter 3

He buried his face in James´shoulder. A choked sob.

"I just want to wake up."

James put one arm hesitantly around Hartley´s shoulders. "I know."

"It´s like a nightmare. I know it´s wrong, that the world is not how it´s supposed to be..and still, I can´t wake up. I know that this-" he gestured vaguely at their surroundings- "none of this is real. I am aware that this is not reality. And still...I don´t want to have that dream anymore."

James didn´t know what to say. He wanted to reassure Piper, to tell him that everything would be OK. But he knew that this was a lie.

This - was reality. Ugly, harsh, unforgiving reality. And as much as he wished that this was a dream, he knew that it wasn´t one. And lying to Hartley would make nothing better. Probably even worse.

He couldn´t do anything besides holding Hartley. But he wouldn´t stop that. Ever.


	4. Chapter 4

Sleep was bad; it brought back images he didn´t want to see. Nightmares wouldn´t leave him alone. These dreams were the crucial point in Piper´s argumentation why he was not insane.

If he wanted to flee from this reality so bad, why didn´t he dream a better one? Why was he still here, tortured by memories, fake and real ones?

If he wasn´t so rooted into this reality, he would have gone into dreams forever long ago. But here he was, he would not go away. It would not go away. They would not leave him alone. They mocked him, they taunted. They showed him things he couldn´t imagine while he was awake.

Why did he see his parents die over and over again although he knew that he had not really seen it? Why did he saw Zoom´s twisted grin and then two streaks with lightning crackling? Why did he see a bloody mirror? Why did it shatter to pieces? Why was there so much blood? Why couldn´t he wake up?


	5. Chapter 5

"What´s wrong, Piper?"

*My parents are gone*

"What else is wrong, Piper?"

*Something is broken*

"What´s broken, Piper?"

*I am*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The original Rogues were back together; his first real family. A dysfunctional family. Possibly the most disturbing ever, but ...they were family.

Except for Scudder. Sam had died long ago.

And old Boomer.His son had now taken his place.

Cold had grown up to his name.

Mick spend half of his day with various psychologists, Mark worked hard to redeem himself for his son.

Owen was torn between loyalty and his sense of family, and his urge to explore the world.

Piper knew that Boomer´s son would eventually leave them.

Mirror Master had vanished through the looking glass, as they once predicted. Piper had shattered it afterwards.

Trickster had stopped smiling. And he himself was broken.


	6. Chapter 6

Hartley Rathaway was OK. Most of the time.

He had two dead parents for whose murder he was framed.

He had a little sister he wasn´t allowed to visit because of her mental condition which had worsened since their parent´s death. He was literally stalked by his relatives who wanted a way to get him- the ex-criminal, the ex-inmate of an asylum, the prodigal - into jail, asylum or anywhere far away, so they could claim his heritage.

He was fighting crime in a city that had lost nearly all hope since the Flash died.

His best friends were dead.

Sometimes he was confused about reality. Hallucinations. His mind was messed up.

The Top had twisted his mind years ago and later forced a new program on him. Mirror Master had implanted false memories in his mind. And he was wrecked with guilt and his own accusations.

But at least he still had his family. The first real family he ever had. The Rogues.


	7. Chapter 7

The hallucinations were the worst when Piper returned from Arkham.

James didn´t know what had hapened there, but it had been terrible.

Piper was shaking when he thought no one watched. He was so pale, it almost looked grey. He was working double-shifts. Talked to Owen in graveyard-shift, assisted Mark on the trials for custody, accompanied Mick to his psychiatrist...James realized that he avoided being alone.

But Piper needed sleep. There was only so much coffee you could drink before seriouslys damaging your body. After secretly dosing him with sleeping pills he dragged an almost not conscious Piper to his room. James felt bad for it, but he had bugged Piper´s room. He told himself that the "normal" Piper would have noticed the surveillance, so until he would detect it, he wasn´t "normal" and therefore it was better to keep an eye (or ear) on him.

He couldn´t hear anything but controlled breathing for the first few hours. Then the rhythm was off. But Piper was still not awake. "No," he muttered. "not my fault." James´ heart felt like lead. "Please no." Nightmares. Of course, everyone of them had had them after Flash´s death. And every rogue carried his own set of fears that would only surface in the night. But Piper´s mind was...fractured. "Blood...so much blood..."

The doctor told him that Piper´s mind was like a puzzle. When that bastard Mc Culloch first hypnotized him, he took a few pieces with him, and replaced them with the new memories. Piper sub-conscious tried to rebuild the puzzle, but the pieces wouldn´t match. Then the Spectre erased the Flash´s identity. Pieces went blank. The Top messed with Piper´s mind. He twisted some pieces. They wouldn´t fit together. And then Flash´s death. First Piper felt so much grief for the death of a stranger...then the stranger became a friend...and then they broadcasted Wally´s face of television. The blank pieces were redrawn...but they couldn´t fit. So, Piper´s mind was basically working like an ill-fitting patchwork of original, fake and twisted pieces. His mind was trying to fill out what was missing, what affected his perception.

The only thing James could do was to create new memories to replace the sad ones, to keep Piper in this "here and now", to protect his mind from shattering.


	8. Chapter 8

Music was his first love

_amorevole _

It would also be his last

_morendo _

Music was like life

_vivace _

Fast and slow,

_presto et lento _

calm and furious,

_serafico et furioso_

sweet and bitter

_dulce et amarezza_

Music was his life.

_ardito, _

_scherzo, _

_con allegrezza, _

_con dolore, _

_con tenerezza, _

_mio picaro _

 

Silence was death

_silencio ultimo_


	9. Chapter 9

He learned that hallucinations can fool most of the senses, but rarely touch.

So, he began to touch Hartley subtly.

A clap on the shoulder, a noogie, checking for injuries after a fight, an arm slung casually around his shoulder... At least it was a good excuse to keep close to Hartley.

Bit for bit Hartley relaxed into the touch.

James was his piece of reality. He was his constant. His compass.

As long as James was there, speaking, touching...Hartley could almost pretend to be ok.


	10. Chapter 10

And after a while, Piper began to search for the touch.

He felt normal around Trickster, normal was better than insane, so being with Trickster was better than being alone.

Everything was better than being alone, because loneliness meant silence. Trickster meant noise. Babble, strange childhood stories about the circus, new ideas concerning security systems involving bubblegum and duct tape and laughter.

Piper liked the sound of Trickster´s laughter. A shame he didn´t do it so often after the tragedy, but being around Trickster meant jokes and laughter and sound. And Piper loved that.


	11. Chapter 11

James was used to be in charge; he was the leader, he had the authority, he had the responsibility. So, naturally, he cared for the others.

It was obvious that all of them looked out after Boomerang´s son Owen. He needed training and guidance. The Rogues didn´t exactly have experience with teenagers, but well...they figured out what went wrong with them, so they tried to prevent those events from happening.

Mick needed professional help with his pyromania. Trickster didn´t know much about psychology, he only knew what psychiatrists NOT to go to, but he arranged donations and charity events for the Rory Burning Victim Fund. Mick rarely showed it, but James knew that his help was appreciated.

Mark´s powers went haywire recently. Somehow his weather controlling abilities wandered changed. The wand became a superfluous tool. He didn´t need it anymore. Perhaps he had never needed it. Josh had natural weather controlling abilities; he did not have them from Julie and he had certainly not got them from the wand, so the powers had to be a part of Mark all along. He couldn´t deal with them at first, but after training and long, long talks (and group therapy about self-consciousness) he managed to control them again.

The problem was that Cold didn´t want any help. He refused any. Len claimed that he didn´t need any help. Maybe he didn´t, he seemed to deal better with it than all of them. But he, too, had issues. Len always had this moral code. Rogues don´t fight each other, once a Rogue ever a Rogue, nothing is more important than family...the Rogue War was not good for him, and that he killed Roscoe...Len never murdered without a good reason - like killing Chillblaine. Now he killed the man his sister loved - and the a little part of what she left in this world died. Cold figured that he was better off without emotions. And Trickster couldn´t decide whether that was true or not.

And...Piper. Piper was a mess. Trickster didn´t want to admit it...but Piper was in miserable shape. His mind was messed up and he still was in a shock-like situation. Trickster found him the day after the tragedy in one of their old safehouses, curled up in a corner, huge headphones on and rocking slightly. Trickster didn´t know what to say. He didn´t know what made him going here in the first place, but he wasn´t the only one. He passed Mick on the way and he was sure that Mark hid himself in the clouds above. Piper probably didn´t even realize that Trickster has here. So Trickster just sat down beside him. He could hear the music from the headphones - Ave Maria he presumed. After an endless while Piper began to lean towards him. There were bags under his eyes and he was looking like he went through hell. Trickster had experience with that. Piper´s head ended up on Trickster´s shoulder. Trickster´s realized that Piper was crying. He carefully put his arm around Piper´s shoulder and told him that it would be OK. That he would make it okay. He promised...and thought that Piper didn´t realize that.


	12. Chapter 12

It has been a long day for all of them.

After a bank robbing, a hostage situation in a museum and some supervillain, all Rogues were positively exhausted.

Mark started to peel off his costume and went to the shower. It was the second friday in the month; his visitation time for Josh. Due to his new superhero-status he managed to get joint custody with Iris Allen. They had a rough time dealing with each other, but for Josh´s sake both were ready for all sacrifices. Mark loved his son. He would protect his child from everything. If Doomsday, Brainiac, Zoom, and who-ever came to him...they´d better come prepared. And today, it was finally visitation day. Mark acted worse than a child on Christmas.

Owen went up to his room. He had applied for a transfer to another team to gather experience. So he said. They all knew that he had a girlfriend (or at least a crush) on the Titan team (which was coincidentally the team he wanted to transfer to). They hadn´t found out who exactly - yet- . He would now spend some time on the phone. Hours, sometimes. Only Piper´s adamant stand that it was really unethical to spy on Owen (and Piper´s threat to publish the photos from last Christmas party to the internet) kept Tricks from exposing Owen´s little secret.

Cold left without a word. They didn´t know where he would go. But as long as he kept coming back they didn´t need to worry. For now.

That left Heatwave, Piper and Trickster in the conference room. Mick had wanted to stay there, because of the paperwork about the Rory Foundation for burnt victims. He kept close ties with the Central City hospital...all Rogues did. He informed himself on new treatments, new medications, new operation methods...

Piper wrote the sitreps and caught up on this week´s paperwork. They didn´t trust anyone else with computers. He peered down at the stack of papers filled sheet for sheet with neat, clear writing and typed quickly on his silver laptop. Mick didn´t know why Trickster was still there. His work as the leader was done; everything for tomorrow was organized. He had no need to be here. But he was here; feet propped up on the table, tie loosened, jacket flung into the next corner and a candy bar from the vendor in his hand. James was looking at a computer monitor. He was reading something. Scrolling down, typing, reading. All with the poker-face. This expression had changed after the tragedy. Years ago, his pokerface had been his enormous grin. No one could look behind that mask. Now it was a blank expression, revealing nothing about his thoughts.

After an hour Piper shut his laptop and stood up. "I´m leaving, guys." He yawned. Trickster looked up. "You okay, Piper?" Piper rubbed at his yes sleepily.

"I´m fine, just tired."

"You´re sure? Didn´t you got hit by that creep today?"

"Yes, but so did all of us. No big deal, really."

"Look, Piper, if you need some painkillers-"

Piper smiled a crooked smile. "Yeah...give the guy on anti-depressants even more drugs. Dr Higuri would kill you if she found out."

In Trickster´s eyes flickered something. Pain? "Honestly, I´m fine Trickster. Hey, Mick, don´t let him annoy you too much." He handed Trickster the sheets of paper. "Have fun with that."

Trickster snorted. "What a way to spend Friday evenings. We are getting old, I tell you." Mick grinned. Piper left the room. And Mick pretended not to notice that Trickster had been staring after him for minutes. Trickster didn´t actually move until Piper had certainly reached his room and had disappeared behind soundproof walls.

"Come on, James. If you still want to pretend, at least pretend better."

"What do you mean?" Trickster asked with a slightly suspicious look.

"There is obviously something going on with you. You have changed, James."

"You know, Mick"

"- this is not going to be one of the I have a friend who has a problem- talks, is it?"

"Nope."

"Then what is it?"

"I...I just. Look, I have this certain situation and-"he broke off.

"Go on," Mick prompted, "is it about this?"

"What?" Mick pointed at the door through which Piper just left.

"This?"

"Umm...what?"

Mick exhaled dramatically.

"Mick, I appreciate your help, I really do, but...you can´t help me with that."

"Why don´t you give it a try?"

"I have this certain problem. This is about...I can´t tell you that. It´s nothing...really."

"Stop pretending, Trickster, or at least pretend better. You have become read-able, Trickster."

Trickster looked sheepishly at Heatwave. He grinned, but in his eyes was fatigue, desperation and he just looked so exhausted. "What should I do? I´m all out of ideas"

Mick had never seen Tricks so ...lost. "Come on, James! It can´t be so bad. Look, if this is about Pi-"

"What?!"

"Come on. It is about him, isn´t it?"

"What do you know?! What do you think you know?!" James face was twisted in rage, but Mick knew that this was in reality just a mask; that James was lashing out to conceal his helplessness.

"Calm down, boy! I´ve known you- both of you- for years. And after the tragedy...it was kinda hard not to notice-"

"Notice what?" he had seemed to cool down. He was quiet and talking with a small voice. "

You love him," stated Mick.

James looked at him, shocked. "How-"

Mick came up to him and placed his hand reassuringly on James´shoulder. "It is obvious. Alone the way you look at him, when you think no one is watching. You´re not the only one here who can read people, Tricks." Mick squeezed lightly.

"And..and..it doesn´t bother you?" "No." replied Mick with adamantium in his voice. "After all that, we deserve some happiness in our lives. You guys are my friends. What should I have against it?"

"You were always the smart one, Mick."

"James, I don´t get what the problem is really. He likes you. There is hope. No need for you to be desperate. I mean the worst thing that could happen is if he says no..."

"NO!" the rage was back. "You don´t understand anything! The worst, the WORST" he was yelling by now.

"Calm down James."

James took a deep breath. "What´s the worst, Mick?" he repeated with a grave voice. Then fury. "Damn! You know his condition! It´s hard enough for him to decide what´s reality and what´s not! And now here I come, confessing my...my love..what do you think he will do? What will he think? Mick, if I would say this to you, how would you react?"

"Honestly? I´d think that this is one of your schemes, or that one of us has gone crazy-"

"Exactly, Mick. He´ll just assume that this is not real. If I can´t keep him anchored in this reality, we could lose him. I can only make it worse. There is nothing I can do that won´t harm him. Nothing to make this work. It can´t work!" He clenched his hands into fists and punched the wall. "The only I can do is to do nothing about this at all. Live, as nothing had ever happened. Nothing has ever changed." Silence.

"This is tricky, I admit that. But, for God´s sake: James, you´ve done impossible things before, why should that stop you now? You are the Trickster! Never forget that." Mick went to the door.

"Thanks, Mick." James replied with a hollow voice.

"No problem."


	13. Chapter 13

Hartley smiled a shy little smile. "You´re my savior. You know that?" he slurred.

"You´re drunk, Hart. You´re not thinking straight."

A snort.

"No, I meant...you know what I meant."

"Yeah...you´re funny, James."

"Now I know you´re totally smashed."

"I ...I mean it." he slurred more and knocked over his glass. It was empty anyway. He leaned over the table. "You´re funny, James." He poked James in the chest. "I like you"

"Come on," said Trickster, "I´m bringing you to your room, ok? Get up, Piper." He got to his feet and pulled Piper up. "Let´s call it a night."

Piper frowned. There was this sad expression on James´face. That was wrong. James was not supposed to be said. James was fun and laughter for him; no place for sadness. Something was wrong. There was something lurking at the edge of his memory, wanting to remind him of something...but he was feeling so blissfully numb right now. He let James drag him to his room.

When they arrived at the door James pulled it open and steered Piper in the direction of the bed.

"I trust you can handle it from here on" said James.

Piper tugged his shirt over his head. "I´ll handle this just fine" He smiled at James. James tried to tell himself that he was not feeling warm and fuzzy from that inside. Piper toed his shoes off and sat down on the bed.

James smiled with exasperation. He walked to Piper and reached for his glasses. "Maybe you should take them off" and put them on the nightstand. Smiling. Yes, smiling was good. Piper smiled back.

"What´s so funny?" James asked.

"You are. And you´re smiling. I like that."

"Come on Piper..."

"What? I mean it. I. Like. You."

"You´re not serious, Piper, you´re drunk."

"And if it is like that? Does that make it wrong what I´m saying? It´s true...I like you."

"Go to sleep, Piper." You´re drunk, Piper. You won´t remember it in the morning. Please go to sleep, don´t make me deal with this right now.

"You´re right, James, you always are..." James turned to leave. Suddenly he felt Piper´s hand at his wrist.

"Please don´t leave."

"What-"

As he turned around, Piper pulled him into a hug. "I mean it. I like you. A lot." A pair of green eyes looked up at him strangely desperate. "Can´t you see it?" Piper clung to him. "How could I not ...come to like you? You´re so-" "Piper."

James said, "look at me"

"What-"

"Shhh." James put his finger at Piper´s lips. "Just listen. I...I like you, too. But, you´re not well. I don´t think that right now is the best time for us to-"

Piper buried his head on James´shoulder. "Don´t say that. Don´t say something like that." James patted his head and put his arm around his waist. "I wish I could tell you that it will be ok-"

"James: I know I´m not well. But ...I want to get better. I can get ok."

"Piper: is that real? Is this a dream?" There was this incredibly hurt look in Piper´s eyes.

"If it were anyone else...but this is real. Because it´s you." James gripped Piper´s shoulder and stepped away to look at him. "Why?" "Don´t you get it, James? You´re my anchor. Only you can convince me that this is real. Without you...it feels wrong. Please don´t leave."

 

The sun found them both in Piper´s bed, curled up against each other. James looked at Piper´s sleeping face; the relaxed, young vulnerable look made James feel so protective. It felt strange. Of course Piper was someone worth protecting, but he was not weak. Sonic weapons and lots of wrecked metal proved otherwise. He just needed someone to look after him. And James wouldn´t let Piper out of his sight. Ever.


End file.
